Mr. Cruikshank cared. She knew that. He looked at her with his ice chip eyes and said ``You can do better. You must do better. There are scholarships but if you don't do your homework your teachers wont recommend you. You can get away - make a difference -'' his voice droned on.
``Yeah yeah,'' she thought, ``like he's saying get away from your home, your dad and your mom and your brothers and cousins because they're no good. He never thinks like maybe I don't want to go away from them.''
She got out of school at two thirty and went to the day care to pick up the little ones. She cleaned up the house and went to the grocery store. She couldn't carry more than one bag because there were two in the stroller and one holding her hand.
If her brothers came home she fixed them something to eat, but mostly they didn't come in until late. She got dinner ready. Beans and hamburger meat and some chopped lettuce.
When her mom came home from work she was out the door. With the car seat still warm she drove to the care center for the early night shift.
``If room eight goes on your shift don't go calling Maggie. They can deal with it in the morning. She wont eat. Don't force her. She ain't hungry.''
The afternoon CNA gave out meds and helped everyone down for the night.
``So early,'' she thought, ``how can they imagine they'll sleep all night?''
When she was alone she went to room eight with applesauce and water. A transparent being lay motionless.
``You hungry?'' she asked.
The slightest negative twitch.
``You want a drink?''
No answer. She sat down on the woman's bed. Forbidden.
``You want to watch TV?''
``You just promise me'' the old lady whispered, ``promise...''
``Promise?''
``Promise me you won't never fly down to Cabo in a private plane!''
``I promise,'' she smiled, ``why do you say that?''
``Aint none of your business!'' the old woman said, and faded off into her dreams.
She got her books out in the TV room. Just got started on math when the old ones came slowly shuffling from their rooms. Canes and walkers tapping, feet slippered and bare whispering on the vinyl floor.
They came to the TV room for peanut butter sandwiches and conversation. Some came for cigarettes. She smiled and welcomed them. The wall of death rider, the fireman, the librarian, the good wife. They spoke but did not listen, they gummed the sandwiches she made, they drank instant coffee and watched TV. Around midnight she'd help them to the bath room and back to bed. Some she tucked in. Some she kissed. Some she didn't.
By one thirty she had cleaned up the TV room, washed the dishes. Then she tried again to do her math, but her eyes just kept closing.
At two thirty the early day shift came in.
``You're a lucky girl to have so much time to do your homework - and get paid!'' one said.
``Everyone's fine except room eight,'' she answered and left.
``Three and a half hours to sleep,'' she thought as she drove home, ``should I shower? No. If I sleep right away I can get up and maybe get my math done...''