They cased the residential streets by day, marking down the goblins and jockeys and windmills and virgin Marys and peeing fat baby boys and lions both standing and sitting.
Brenda had a special hatred for the windmills.
``How could anyone - how could anyone spend long hours of their precious lives making those gross objects.''
``It takes their minds off their troubles,'' said Mildred.
But the windmills were heavy. Hard to move. Goblins were easier. They were mostly small and not anchored down. You could pick them up and have them in the back of the pick up and be on your way in no time.
There was a virgin sheltering in a blue painted bath tub all set about with glass balls and plastic flowers. They got her on Christmas Eve. No problem.
By February the garage was full...They took a week's vacation and rented a U-Haul and took their loot to Houston where they had a buyer. The buyer had a business taking the stuff to Mexico and returning with 3/4 scale mariachis crafted from scrap metal.
After a year they realized they were losing ground. For every goblin they took it seemed two more appeared. Virgins were sprouting on every block. Plywood cut-outs of the rear view of fat ladies bending over were proliferating.
It was Brenda who got suspicious first. The bath tub virgin was quickly replaced. Not only that, but she was now illuminated with strings of chile pepper lights. Then a virgin appeared in the front yards of the houses on each side of them. Their neighbors. Their neighbors who they did not know. Did not even recognize.
``I think they're on to us,'' Brenda said.
They got both neighbor virgins in one night.
The following morning Mildred was up early to enjoy a cup of coffee in solitude. She had an uncomfortable sense that someone was watching her. When she looked up at the kitchen window she found herself face to cement face with a full size virgin. There were more, crowding behind. The house was surrounded. She could not get out the door. She managed to climb out the bath room window hoping to get to her car, but the driveway was full of virgins. She backed into them and some of them fell and shattered, but they were reinforced with metal rods. She could not get her car out.
They had to pay a wrecking crew to get rid of all the virgins.
``I think it was a hint,'' said Brenda. ``Maybe I'll build a wind-mill, maybe with a little water wheel and with a little motor - and a stream, a little artificial stream -''
``I don't think wind-mills have water wheels,'' said Mildred.