He was not afraid. There was nothing to fear. Death would be his reward if he was called.
Still he went out rarely. Kept up his studies, did not change his comings and goings. He watched the television constantly. Had the radio on a news station as well.
The arrogance of these people who had so long seen themselves as impervious. Now they waved flags and shouted on TV though the people who lived around him took little notice.
He was finding it hard to eat.
The apartment manager came by one day.
``I'm glad you're a good man,'' he said. His eyes were old man blue.
``I'd always defend you if need be.''
``Thanks,'' he said. He tried to smile.
It was something said on a radio talk show that really got him thinking. Some silly woman with that harsh, squeaking voice so many young American women seemed to affect.
``Did you notice how ugly they all were?'' she asked. The show host got her off the air quick.
No one gets told they're ugly in America.
As he lay in bed in the light of the Kinko's sign and the blue television light he got to thinking. Was it true? Were they all ugly? With better looks would they all have been fulfilled in happier lives? Would anger have found no place to grow in their hearts? Could he have been content with an ordinary life? There was no answer to such a question. The hand of his god was within him. Who he was and who he could have been would never meet, never recognize one another. He was an instrument of the divine. His mission to clear the evil ones from the sacred places of the earth. To defeat and humiliate.
He thought the words came from his god.
They drifted into his near sleeping brain: ``They also serve who only stand and wait - '' words from a movie seen and forgotten.
He slept.