There was a woman who always lied. She lied to make herself look good, she lied to make herself look bad. She lied for personal gain, she lied for personal loss. She lied to make herself interesting, she lied to make herself dull. She lied to friends, she lied to enemies. But she never lied to herself.
Her lies were often obvious and she didn't go to any effort to cover them up.
If she said she missed the early bus and someone said that they saw her on the early bus, she would just smile.
When she was little a baby sitter told her a story about a girl called Matilda who told dreadful lies and ended getting burned up because no one believed her when she called ``fire,'' but it made no difference.
The woman never lacked a job, though she didn't keep them long. People do not write ``lies incessantly'' on references. In fact she was a good PR person in many ways.
When she got a pain in her gut she gave the doctor a list of symptoms none of which she had. The doctor ordered a bunch of tests and noted the discrepancy between what the woman said was wrong and what was physically evident. When the test results came back the doctor told the woman that she appeared to have a brain tumor. The woman was surprised, even though she had claimed to have a pain in her head.
``We should operate immediately,'' the doctor said. ``It's in a difficult spot. If you survive the surgery there's a fifty fifty chance you'll be completely paralyzed - we need to discuss this -''
The woman looked at the doctor. So. A liar, like herself. Now what? But her body solved the problem by doubling her up with pain and closing the masquerade.
The woman had her appendix removed. The next day the doctor said ``It's amazing how that brain tumor cleared up once you had your appendix removed, isn't it?'' she smiled pleasantly at the woman, who agreed. Yes it was amazing. A miracle really.
``You might want to read your chart,'' the doctor said. ``That is your right. You might find it interesting.''
``I don't think so, thank you,'' the woman answered.